Story No. 4: Who says I am not Beautiful?

            Ever since I started high school, I felt that I just didn’t belong. As I walked on the corridors of our building, my classmates would just look at me and when I came to pass, I heard their laughs… their insults… that I was childish, unpretty and weird. I didn’t want this feeling.  “Can someone free me from this misery?”

            “But maybe it’s just a feeling… you said it was.”

            “Who are you?”

            “I am… you. I am… in you.”

            “Are you my conscience?”

            “No I am…”

            The screen turned black… and then grey… and then, white. It’s already morning. I jumped out on my bed. “What a dream!” I was puzzled. Why a memory like that would spring up again? It was like… 17 years ago.

            I am now a researcher hired at Centerpoint. I took up Physics and then had further studies in research. I enjoy this field. Like, how we use critical thinking, analogy, abstractions and all just to search for the answer…. to see the different relationship and possibilities from different combinations and then to provide solution.

                I have to admit, I was a little weird when I was younger (I am still young!). It's because I just loved reading books than talking to others. They wouldn’t want me either. I was not Belle. I was not beautiful. How would the girls love to have a friend that is dark-skinned, with flat nose and fat? If the girls wouldn’t, how would the boys? Impossible.

            Oh, but I remember, when I was high school, every time examinations were coming up, friends were also flooding up. It was crazy. I enjoyed the attention, although I knew from the very first, that it was not because of what I was, but rather, because of what I knew.

            But now I realize, beauty is not from what can be seen, what is tangible and what is concrete. Beauty is not measured by the height and by the curves… but rather by the size of one’s heart. And through research, I can extend my help to the people who are needing… and I think, that is beauty.